Funky Fresh Five
Take The Hell Test

No Vaseline?

Now you're gettin' done without vaseline . . .

First, it was Jigga Vs. God's Son (bka Nas).
Then it was 50 Cent Vs. Ja Rule.
Now it's Jay Smooth Vs. Jessica Hopper.


Right now, there's a heated blog beef erupting between two of the hardest-working bloggers on the 'Net.

In this corner, coming in with the best hip-hop blog on the 'Net -- Jay Smooth of
And in the other corner, we have Chicagoland's luckiest diarist Jessica Hopper of the blog, tinyluckygenius aka the Unicorn's tear.

How did the beef started? Who knows? Who cares?

Jay Smooth is in the blog history book. He has recorded the first the second the third "blog dis" song ever in the blogging community titled "I Know Why The Unicorn Cries." The incendiary track is available as a downloadable mp3 and lyrics are posted. Jay is so dope, he even sampled Howard Dean's infamous yelp ("Yeeeaarrrgh!") into the song, which uses the beat from rhyme-spitter Vast Aire's "Look Mom No Hands" track. It's a brilliant song.

My favorite line:

You think your tiny sucky blog makin me feel fear?
I get more hits in a week than you get all year
You cry a tear cuz you're jealous about my fame
Talk a good one but never call me out by name
It's just a shame, I dunno why you think that you could reckon with me
I represent New York, you're in the second city . . . .

[BTW, supposedly, this verbal sparring match is all fun and games. So don't take this seriously, folks.]

Also, check out Jay Smooth's official story on the TRUE publishing history of the Source magazine. It's required reading for anyone who wants to know how the Source became such a strong presence in hip-hop journalism during the early days of rap. Today, the Source magazine is an unscrupulous publication caught up in writing nefarious articles on hip-hop and bias music reviews. It's a damn shame. In the meantime . . . Fuck the Source.