Livin' In The Lap Of Luxury
Baker's Dozen: Summa Time!

Trapped In A Sitcom Dream

Blushin' in this 40 ounce
Lettin' the ink from my pen bleed
Cuz Martin Luther King had a dream
Aaliyah had a dream
Left Eye had a dream
So I reached out to Kanye and ("brought you all my dream") . . .

"Dreams" -- The Game

Either I need to change my diet or stop watching television, because I have been having the craziest dreams lately. I mean the shit is getting ridonkulous.

Recently, I dreamt that actress Countess Vaughn James (from the defunct sitcom The Parkers) was my baby mama. Why? I don't know. Apparently, Countess found a box of condoms and decided to confront me on her recent discovery.

"Whose box of condoms are these?!?" Countess screamed.
"I don't know, they are not mines," I shouted back.
"Well, they are not mines," she responded. And then she looked at me with her blue-colored eyeballs bulging out of her big-ass head and she pouted her lips.
"I want an answer, dammit!" she commands.

"I'm going over my mom's house," I said, tired of Countess' constant nagging.
"Go to your mom's house, then," she yelled. "You are always running to your mamas."

So I get to my mom's house and guess who answers the door?

Model/video chick/hot-piece-of-ass/actress LisaRaye (of the UPN sitcom All of Us).

"You are my mom?" I asked, bewildered yet kind of happy to see her.
"Of course, come on in," she greets me.

I was like, Yeeesss, I'm going to bang LisaRaye in her butt. Yippee!
But then I thought to myself, "Wait a minute . . . she's my mom?!?"

Meanwhile, LisaRaye starts offering me advice on how I can mend my relationship with Countess. And in my mind I'm like, "Woman, I don't want to hear any suggestions from you, I want to see you bucket nekkid."

But then I was like, "Whoa, wait a minute, I want to fuck my moms?"

That's when I woke up. The dream was getting too crazy. And then I took a long cold shower and I tried to wash the images of my dream away.

But occasionally, I sit and I wondered: What was that dream all about?

Folks, I need some help.

These dreams have got to mean something.

I think I'm going to have to consult a dream psychic.