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Posts from July 2007

Barbershop Matinee: Who's Your Caddy?

The animated flick the Simpsons Movie raked in the D'Oh at the box office over the weekend.

Who's Your Caddy? . . . not so much.

The class war golf comedy finished in tenth place overall with nearly $3 million in ticket sales. Compared that to the 2006 $7 million box-office opening of that other urban embarrassment Soul Plane and I would say, Caddy is a hole in naught.

Over the weekend, I visited my local barbershop to get my hair "did"[sic] (an all-round "baldie" cut) and guess what was playing on the widescreen television -- Who's Your Caddy?

Wow! Talk about straight-to-DVD. LOL!

And after watching this absurd comedy, this movie should have went straight-to-DVD the trash.

Who's Your Caddy? is a flick that even Tiger Woods would be ashamed of even though he doesn't consider himself African-American. Not only does this movie not get the game of golf right, it doesn't even get the game of comedy right. Who's Your Caddy is definitely Soul Plane on the golf course.

The forgettable movie stars OutKast's Big Boi as an optimistic music executive named C-Note who decides that he wants to join a prestigious golf country club in the Carolinas. When he tries to apply, an elitist board president named Jason Cummings [***add your "cum" jokes here] turns him down because of his, ah, scruffiness. Not to let a class-ist windbag deter him from playing golf, C-Note decides to buy an adjacent property near the club so he can make Cumming's life a living hell by acting foolish on the green.

There is a back story to all of this -- apparently, C-Note's dad was a championed golfer at this snotty club and Cummings unwarrantedly kicked him out. So, basically, C-Note is trying to give Cummings his comeuppance (excuse the alliterations) years later.

But who cares -- bring on the strippers and let me buy you a draaaaank.
(Yes, there are big booty strippers in the movie -- yaaaay!)

Throughout the movie it tries to relay a political message about race and class in society -- that they are two Americas, one Black, one White, separate and unequal. But that is masked by the blatant stereotypes and "hot ghetto mess" the actors display in the film that -- I will admit -- is funny at times.

Yes, I admit that I did laugh at a few of the dick jokes, fart noises, misogyny and midget insults. I mean, give me a break, I'm sitting in the barbershop with a few customers so it was okay for me to laugh at it, right?

Big Boi's supporting cast of cut-ups includes Faizon Love, SNL's Finesse Mitchell, [so-to-be The View's co-host] Sherri Shepherd, Terry Crews and a few comedians you probably recognize on HBO's Def Comedy Jam (the new season). When they come on the screen, it's like Animal Kingdom on the green -- niggas are acting wild.

It's so easy to trash this film, so let me tell you the one bright spot in this movie, and that is Tamala Jones. She's so lovely in the movie as Big Boi's love interest. When the two share a moment in a scene it actually lifts the movie out from its stereotypical ashes. I often found myself thinking that Tamala looks a lot like Taraji P. Henson -- who gives a great performance in Don Cheadle's Talk to Me, a movie more African-Americans should see. Nevertheless, Tamala doesn't get much screen time, as she plays the background to all of the campiness.

I'm disappointed that Big Boi would chose a film like this after his excellent performance in 2006's ATL. I mean, look at ATL co-star T.I. He could have easily gone in this direction but, instead, his next movie is American Gangster, starring opposite Denzel Washington. Now that's a good look, pot-na.

Who's Your Caddy? is urban dribble that shouldn't have been green-lighted, at all. I'm also wondering what was Executive Producer Tracey Edmonds thinking about when this idea landed on her table? She helmed a great television drama (the now-canceled Soul Food) and is the producer behind BET's hit reality series College Hill, so why did she want to developed this crap?

In the end, I can't recommend it. Not at today's ticket and popcorn prices.

Who's your Caddy? gets 1 razor and the bozack.


If this is true, congratulations are in order for Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy. The lovely power couple are engaged, according to OK! Magazine. Murphy reportedly proposed to Edmonds with a Cartier yellow diamond ring. The two are expected to hold their nuptials by year's end. "[It] will be a private wedding," says a source. "Something low key and very romantic."



Those of you who are still wondering what I look like in real life . . . keep on wondering.

Instead, I present to you what I look like as a Simpsons.

You can create your own Simpsons avatar right HERE.

If you would like, you can post a link to your Simpsons image in the comments.

As for me checking out the Simpsons Movie this weekend, I'll pass.

And I'll be damn if I'm going to pay money to see Soul Plane on the golf course aka Who's Your Caddy? Hell to the naw!

Have a great weekend.


Clash Of The Hip-Hop Titans

Let's get ready to rumble!

It's official.

Kanye West and 50 Cent are ready to go album-to-album on Sept. 11. Kanye's Graduation and 50's Curtis are set to release their collection on the same day, and they are not moving. "I'm coming September 11," spits Fiddy. "If Kanye comes that day, he comes that day. That'll be great. [But] I think his people are smart. I think they'll move [their release date]. But I'm coming September 11."

Kanye says he won't push back the release date of his new album because he feels that the battle is positive for hip-hop. "I'd rather come out on a day like that, up against 50 -- where people are excited about going to the stores and it's an event and people talk about it," he tells MTV. "And be No. 2 on that day rather than come out [at No. 1] on a day nobody cares about."

Unfortunately, Kanye stuck his foot in his mouth with that last comment.

Please ladies and gentlemen, no matter how insignificant or unrelated Sept. 11 is to you, it is a very important day to remember and to memorialize. I was in New York when this tragic event happened. It was very disheartening to see the sadness, the loss and chaos that occurred on that day.

Sept. 11 is a day that I will never forget.

Rest in Power to all of the police and firefighters who loss their lives during their heroic act of bravery trying to save people. God bless to all of the victims' families.

Now back to this rap battle.

K-Weezy also believes that Sept. 11 will go down in the record books, as well. "It's about things going down in history," he states. "It's not that much exciting stuff in hip-hop right now. I think people are going to make it more than what I'm making it myself. At the end of the day, I'm making music and I'm trying to sell."

Kanye even alluded that he might win the coveted Album of the Year trophy at the 2008 Grammy Awards in February.

Slow your roll, K-Don -- that might not happen. Plus, after listening to Common's Finding Forever, I think its time that the veteran Chicago MC gets his due. I'm telling you folks, Finding Forever is a hip-hop masterpiece.

I'll talk more about it when I actually get a hard copy of the disc in my hands and listen to it on my iPod. My Internet copy is good, but I want the real thing. I want to hold that sucka in my hands and smell the CD booklet. Ya feel me?

Anyway, I have created a music poll -- it's located on the right side of this blog. So please participate in the poll so I can get a consensus on this Kanye West vs. 50 Cent album-sales battle. Thanks!


iWant One

Even though, I copped the LG enV phone over the weekend, what I really wanted was the Apple iPhone. Since I already have an iPod and an iBook, a iPhone would have completed my set. Ya feel me?

But alas, a few things held me back from jumping on the iPhone.

01. It's too expensive. Granted, it's a technological marvel, but $500-600 is too pricey for a phone. And don't forget, you also have to set up your calling plan, too. So I'm guessing all together -- $1,000-plus when you add it up. Wow!

02. It's on the AT&T carrier and that means I would have to leave Verizon. I couldn't do that because Verizon has been berry, berry, berry good to me. So why jump ship?

03. It has a lot of bells and whistles that I don't really need. I don't know anyone who spends time watching youtube videos while on the go. It doesn't hurt to have that type of entertainment on a phone, but for me -- I want "the criticals"[sic]: Talk, E-Mail, Text-Messaging, Edit Word Documents, a decent keyboard and a 2.0 3-4 mega-pixels camera.

But there might be some good news on the horizon. According to a report, Apple reportedly is developing a cheaper iPhone. But an industry insider questioned the validity of that report, and said that a cheaper phone will probably not happen . . . just yet. My money is on the report. I think Steve Jobs and his tech elfs are building a cheaper iPhone for the casual user -- the one who doesn't want all of the bells and whistles of its current phone.

So, for those of you who don't know what the fuss is all about with the iPhone -- click HERE for a full review about Apple's new technological wonder.

And check out this very interesting review of the iPhone. These guys tested the phone's durability by throwing it across a sidewalk, cutting it up with a pocket knife, and then they flushed it down a toilet. Yikes!

DJ/Producer and supreme gadget head Just Blaze offers his thoughts on the iPhone, complete with video.

And finally, this is a good tutorial/tech review of the iPhone by publicist Isidra Person Lynn. She interviewed her husband, African studies professor Dr. Kwaku, and asked him about how the iPhone works.

iHolla Back!

Baker's Dozen: Summer In The City

Inspired by KB's now defunct meme.

Here are the RULES: You have to come up with twelve thoughts and one picture (totaling 13) to describe your weekend. Try using quotes, events, links to blog entries and websites, etc.

01. The weekend weather in Camden, N.J. was gorgeous -- 80 degrees, low humidity and a cool breeze. Ahhh, now that's summer. (See photo above)

02. I copped a new phone over the weekend -- the LG enV. It's not a Sidekick killer, but it could be with a couple of upgrades. And despite a few flaws (the keyboard buttons are too small; talk/standby time kinda sucks), it takes some great pictures (see photo above).

03. Listening to Common's Finding Forever. The Internets are going nuts over the disc, and rightfully so. I think it's a hip-hop masterpiece. Please buy the CD on July 31! (More thoughts in a future post.)

04. Bye, Bye Bakker.

05. I gotta get back on the blogging grind. But my time is consumed with life, work and life.

06. Hanging out with my twin brother in Philly on Saturday was cool. I love that dude.

07. Hot gear(s) I copped for the summertime: Plaid Capri Shorts (colors: cream/sky blue; brown), V-Neck T-Shirts, Nike Blazers.

08. I'm thinking about my "Shaaawwteee."

09. Wawa makes the best turkey hoagie sandwiches. I'm addicted to them!

10. M-I-A -- Here I come!

11. I . . Hate . . Mondays.

12. Blog Watch: Saucy Dame Dizzle is doing her thizzle. Go Read It!

Blog Notables: Soul Psychadelicyde, The Megatrondon 2, Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, Crunk & Disorderly

This week's Unconscious Mutterings:

  1. Deputy :: Sheriff
  2. Name :: Trent
  3. Arrested :: Development
  4. Trade :: Foreign
  5. Old :: New
  6. Fingerprint :: CSI: New York
  7. Dwarf :: Shorty
  8. Newspaper :: New York Times
  9. Gabriel :: Peter (original founder of the rock group Genesis)
  10. Certificate :: of Deposit (Save That Money!)